Election 2016

It’s Time for Another Secret Service Tell-All about the Clintons

esquire.comHere at the Stupid Café, we remember our old customers as well as our new ones. For example, we remember Gary Aldrich, who used to stop by a lot with a retinue of skeevy journalists who all wore hats saying, “I Visited Mena Airport And All I Got Was This Lousy Kilo.”

Aldrich was a former Secret Service guy who wrote a book called Unlimited Access in which, among other things, he charged that the Clintons had decorated one of the White House Christmas trees with crack pipes, condoms, and obscene clay figurines. He also said that an ornament supposedly representing the “five gold rings” from the Christmas song was created out of cock rings. There were crack pipes on the Clinton tree and crackpots sitting around the Aldrich family tree, I guess.

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