independent.ie – There will be hundreds and thousands all across the wailing island of Ireland who will have to go to bed tonight without a bedtime story.

How will ye get to sleep at all? Drink, maybe? Pills? Our people have been deprived of the consolation of a killing or a kidnapping or a huge argument with or without bloodshed or adultery, or any form of vicarious sex.

Withdrawal, it’s called. And the fall-out from the fix is all down to the cancellation of tonight’s soaps in favour of the soccer. Men, in particular, may take the cancellation as a cause for celebration. Oh ye of little brains.