ftw.usatoday.com – Boston Red Sox knuckleballer Steven Wright is enjoying a breakout season at age 31 — early adolescence by knuckleballer standards. Through 14 starts in 2016, Wright is 8-4 with an American League-leading 2.04 ERA despite pitching his home games in cozy Fenway Park. He throws his signature pitch some 80% of the time, alternating its velocity to keep hitters off balance.

Take a look at one knuckleball he threw to poor Alex Avila of the White Sox on Monday:

That… no. That makes no sense. Steven Wright’s spin rate is zero. Someone take that baseball’s keys away because it is clearly unfit to drive home. Ban Steven Wright for life.