esquire.com – Why do I suspect that Trump Decongestants will be on the market any day now?

If, as I did, you listened to his thwacking–and largely unencumbered by truth–attack on Hillary Rodham Clinton on Wednesday morning, it was hard to track the lies through the monumental sniffling that made it sound like He, Trump was campaigning as Darth Vader cosplay. But we paddle on, up against the implacable current of Mucus River, and we judge the speech as you judge the speeches of the presumptive presidential candidate of one of the two major political parties that we, as a people, have allowed ourselves.