esquire.com – Instead of pointing out that last night’s Masque of the Red Death acceptance speech already is being graded on a curve the size of the Gateway Arch (And that Ivanka’s turn in the spotlight is being graded on a curve the size of the orbit of Neptune. Government-paid child care? Pay equality? Please to be giving me a break) I thought I’d just mention the three most nakedly and inescapably authoritarian moments in the unprecedented 75-minute harangue.

Being nakedly and inescapably authoritarian, they perfectly sum up the great paradox of this week in Cleveland—to wit, the angry delight the participants took in submitting themselves to the vulgar talking yam speaking down to them from on high.